Inside of You
by DramaticStarlet
Summary: He doesn't want to talk about it. BeckTori.


**inside of you.**

beck/tori.  
by katie.

yay for writing a beck/tori with actual substance that isn't just pointless fluff. :) eventually, i'll write some other pairing. eventually being the key word in that sentence.

/

The first time they have sex, she cries because it's prom night and she has a hangover from the spiked punch and she got blood on his white bedsheets.

She tries to remember how it all started, but her head is pounding and _oh shit oh shit oh shit _she's about to hurl. There's this film reel playing in her mind of a girl with black hair and a purple dress drunkenly kissing a boy missing a shoe.

But that can't be how it happened; she's rational, she doesn't just kiss people on a whim.

"Tori? Hey, are you alright?"

She doesn't have time to think anymore because the next thing that's happening is him carrying her to the bathroom after she throws up on his pillows.

He holds her hair.

She cries a little bit more.

/

The second time, it feels SO good when he presses into her, and the burning sensation between her thighs goes away.

She came to his trailer to apologize for acting like a spaz and puking and bleeding all over his bed. He smiles with those big brown, liquid hazelnut eyes of his as he says, "It's cool. I felt bad for taking advantage of a drunk girl."

The easy banter is back, the effortless friendship they had before the _oh my god, awkward! _prom night sex. They sit on his couch, watching The Hangover and listening to the rain hit the roof of the trailer.

In the midst of watching Bradley Cooper steal a police car, she can't help but think that he has the nicest hair and the most beautiful laugh and these kissable, pouty lips. She's been having thoughts like this a lot, since he broke up with Jade in March but they're best friends and she doesn't want to ruin it.

(_You crossed the line when you gave him your virginity, _a nagging little voice in her head says.)

"Do you want a pop?" he offers. Then she kisses him because she thinks she may die if she doesn't.

/

They aren't going out. No, really, they aren't. They fuck in his trailer a lot (sometimes at her house, when her parents aren't home) and he pays for her when they go out with their other friends. But they _aren't _dating.

Sometimes she wonders if they're even best friends anymore.

She wishes they were dating.

He doesn't like labels.

Fuck Jade for breaking him.

Everybody goes out for ice cream on the 4th of July – André, Cat, Robbie, Jade, _her, him. _She orders a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and nuts.

She gets whipped cream on her nose; she can feel him staring at it intensely, and she blushes 3 different shades of pink.

"Beck, man, why you creepin' on my girl Tori? Looks like you wanna eat her," André says jokingly, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders. He smells like strawberry sauce and cologne.

"Something like that," he rolls his eyes in his typical sarcastic fashion (but flashes her a knowing grin while André isn't looking).

A little while later, André pulls her aside, looking a little concerned and more than a little weirded out. "Hey, T," he says quietly, "what up with you and Beck? I mean, I don't mean to be all in your business, but damn. Both of y'all are acting crazy."

She panis for a brief moment, then remembers all of those drive-by acting exercises Sikowitz used to do. "Nothing's 'up' with us, but if there was, you know I can take care of myself. I'm feisty," she sas with a smile. "And I have my cop dad on speed dial."

It gets André off her back, but she doesn't sit back down next to Beck.

(He turns his attention to Cat, and she hates André for making her paranoid.)

/

Sometimes they fight about things that actually matter, and she gets scared. He calls her immature; she calls him unmotivated.

She doesn't even remember what they're fighting about – a role he didn't get? – but all of a sudden he's slamming the door of the trailer, telling her to **GET OFF HIS FUCKING BACK**.

She falls back onto his bed.

God she is _so _selfish! He just wanted to relax (she knew he was upset!) and she brought up the audition and _shit she has to apologize_. And she isn't normally this desperate, but he's BECK.

Beck with the amazing abs and tattoo on his shoulder and the dry sense of humor and amazing parents and cute dog and asdfghjkl.

She finds him outside, smoking a cigarette, even though he's trying to quit. The smell chokes her esophagus; she doesn't care.

"I'm sorry."

He drops the cigarette.

"Beck. C'mon."

"My parents are getting a divorce, okay? It's not about the fucking audition."

He presses their mouths together in a sloppy, angry kiss so she can't respond and he's so rough with her while they're making "love" that she has bruises.

When she leaves, he doesn't even say goodbye.

/

His parents split up out of the blue, and he's not the same.

He doesn't want to talk about it.

/

She misses her period in August, and doesn't tell him.

She goes to the pharmacy alone to pay for...tests. Not the kind she used to ace in high school. The kind for stupid girls who have unprotected sex with boys who don't love them (or at least they used to).

When it comes out negative, she calls him and tells him she loves him.

He says, "I'm leaving for work" but she can hear Cat Valentine giggling in the background.

She doesn't know what to do except call André and deleted Cat from her Facebook friends.

/

She stops answering his booty calls at 2 in the morning, and ignores his "where are you?" texts. And when Cat sends her a message on The Slap, asking what she did wrong, she responds with _Bye _then puts her laptop into storage.

She leaves for UCLA with André in September, hating herself for everything. She starts to cry when he asks her if she's okay.

André holds her hand all the way to the school.

/

She doesn't know if she still loves him.

/

(She goes to their wedding after college, just out of curiosity, and sits in the very back row. She's older and wiser now, and people call her Vic instead of Tori. She can handle seeing him again, really she can.

Cat looks beautiful. Her hair is brown now.

She tries to leave as quickly as possibly after the ceremony, but she gets caught up in the wedding processional exit with about 1000 other people.

She catches his eye.

_I love you too _he mouths at her, 5 years too late. The intensity in his eyes burns a hole in her stomach.

She stares at him for one long, heavy pause, then runs out of the church.

One of her favorite heels falls off her feet.

She doesn't dare run back to get it.

Looking back isn't an option.)

/

err yes, well. xD i know i say this about all my writing, but i feel like i could have done better. IDK i'm so unconfident lately. :/ A for effort?

**please review with more than "so cute" or "weird" or "i loved it", please? :)**


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